Breaking News from Climate Progress:
Elderly Obama And Boehner Daughters Arrive In Time Machine To Demand Climate Action
GOP pass emergency bill criminalizing research into time travel even as
their own grown children return from future with irrefutable evidence
of climate catastrophe
one of the epochal moments in human history, the grown-up children of
our leading politicians have returned from the future in a time machine
to warn humanity that the worst fears of climate scientists have come
true and that we must act now to save billions of people from starvation
and endless wars over land and water.
DNA testing has confirmed
that the group is led by a now-elderly Sasha and Malia Obama together
with Lindsay and Tricia Boehner. They emerged with dozens of others from
a remarkably small blue ship that bore a striking resemblance to a
1960s-style London police box, which materialized on the National Mall.